Ebola Safety

"waymoe" (waymoe)
10/03/2014 at 13:17 • Filed to: None

Hola hay, waymoe aqui. With the recent makings of ebola virus in Africa I thought it was best if I wrote a guide on how to protect yourself from this deadly disease called ebola currently in Africa. A little background first:

The first step to protecting yourself from any disease is to develops the immunity. Ebola virus is a virus that makes blood come from your eyes, so the best way for makings the immunity is to be in contact with blood. Find 15 to 16 blood oranges and eat them. The blood in them will help you fight off disease because now you have 15-16 more bloods in you. Ebola makes you bleed blood so by having more blood you will live longer. If you can not find blood oranges waymoe recommends V8 juice because it is high in vitamins and minderals.

The next step is containment. Ebola is spread through direct contact with people. Your best ways to stop this is to use webcams for all interactions. Ask your mom how to set up a webcam if you need help, shes a pro. The webcamera allows for you to be somewhere but not touching anywhere. If you do not have a webcamera the best thing you can do is avoid Africa which is hard since it is very large. If you happens to be in Africa waymoe recommends staying as it is too late but atleast they have hippos and monkeys and zebras and lions and flamingos and wildebeats and parrots and gorillas and hippos and monkeys and zebras and lions and flmaingos and wildebeats and parrots and gorillas. No bears.

The third step is knowing if you have ebola virus. Are you in Africa? Do you have ebola? Are you bleeding from the eyes and have a fever? If you said yes to any of these you have ebola and you should find as many blood oranges as you can very fastly. Grind the blood oranges into a paste until you have what doctors call a very big mess. Now you do not have time to be sick because you must clean the mess before company comes to the house, probably to check if you have ebola.

Fourth step is decontanimation of the virus. If you or someone you know has ebola you do not have much time to acts. You must clean your blood of ebola. Waymoe finds it easiest to clean blood in the sink but you can use the tub. Fill the tub with warm water halfway, add 2 bottles of Dawn dish soap (the blue kind, not the other kinds). When the bubbles are made play crawling in my skin by classic rock band Linkin Park. You are now readys to make the cut. Grasp a sharp object and cut a long deep cut from your wrist to your elbow. Once all the blood is in the tub you can start the scrubbings (be sure to get all the white cells too!). Once your blood is clean you can start to put it back in. Waymoe does not have a method for this just yet, check back in a few days. NOTE: If you cant be making the clean blood, just drain the blood and eat as many of the oranges as you can be finding. You will be cured.

The number one thing to be rememberings is that ebola is just a virus. It can not really hurt you. If it could hurt you it would be real and not Obamas propaganda for going back to Kenya which is where he is from.

Waymoe is love. Waymoe is life.

DISCUSSION (13)

For Sweden > waymoe
10/03/2014 at 13:20

As they aged, Linkin Park eventually became LinkedIn Park.

Brian Silvestro > waymoe
10/03/2014 at 13:21

Is possible to grow blood orange tree?

waymoe > Brian Silvestro
10/03/2014 at 13:22

I am doctor not botanist

Brian Silvestro > waymoe
10/03/2014 at 13:23

There goes my multi-million dollar blood orange empire plan

Cebu > waymoe
10/03/2014 at 13:23

Kinja'd!!!

CB > waymoe
10/03/2014 at 13:25

As a person specializing in a program in university, this logic checks out.

I'm not specializing in medicine, though, so my seal of approval may not mean much.

Alfalfa > waymoe
10/03/2014 at 13:26

Listening to Nickelback has also been shown to cure Ebola, but at extensive damage to the rest of the body as well. Studies on the extent of this collateral damage have not been conclusive, but can include bleeding out the ears and decreased intelligence.